My debt

I was struggling last week.  I have a tendency to go through streaks of contentment.  Last week, I had an emotional weak moment, or day actually.

It wasn't pretty.

I've been asking God to give me some of that "peace that passes all understanding" because frankly, I am tired of this fleeting contentment that seems to come and go from time to time.

So yesterday I was praying and talking with God about this whole contentment/peace thing and He gave me a thought: God doesn't owe me anything.

I know that it is not ground-breaking or profound but I needed the reminder and the Lord really struck a cord in me with it.  It was one of those thoughts that God plants in your mind and then continues to stir it around until it can settle and sink in.

It's a true statement though.  God doesn't owe me anything.  However, I think Christians (trust me, myself included) can often convince ourselves that He does in fact owe us something.  We can convince ourselves that since we have trusted Him and are now saved, we are entitled to His blessings.  We can begin to think that the more we do for Him, the more we deserve from Him.  We can begin to believe that He owes us a spouse, a child, health, wealth, happiness, a nice home, a nice car, comfort or even peace.

HA!

He showed me how absolutely ridiculous that is!  

He doesn't owe us anything!

He gave us everything 2,000 years ago when He freely laid his life down for me and shed His blood for me and paid my debt of sin.  He overcame death and Hell for me.  What more could I expect or even ask from Him?! 

God continued to stir that thought last night.  My pastor was preaching about why Christ's return will be glorious and the fact that when we get to Heaven, we will have perfect, immortal bodies, made like Him.  The point he was trying to get across was that God gives us his very best, which is so true.  In response to that, we ought to give Him our very best.

That fit right in with the thought that God doesn't owe me anything but rather, in reality, I owe Him.

I owe God everything. 

I owe him my time, not the very end of my day after everything else has been done but I owe Him the very first part of my day.  I can't be selfish with my time.  If He wants me to give it to others, then I have to obey that.  It's not my time anyways, every moment, every day, every week and year have been given to me by God and He can bring it to an end whenever He wants.

I owe him my thoughts.  Last week in Bible study, we read Proverbs 16:3, "Commit thy works unto the Lord and thy thoughts shall be established."  That verse really struck me.  Every action begins in the mind.  We contemplate what we are going to do.  I best not be day dreaming or filling my mind with thoughts of this world or of temporal things.  I need to focus and think on things of God. 

I owe him my service.  I shouldn't have a bad attitude about any opportunity I have to service God or to serve His people. 

I owe him my heart.  The whole thing.  I need to keep my heart pure and protected and I want Him to have it.  There are plenty of things in the world vying for it and for my affections, my attention, my thoughts but I need to set my affections on things above because "where your treasure is, there will your heart be also." (Luke 12:34)

I owe him my life.  In my last post I talked about the one purpose we have in life is to please God, since that is the whole reason why we were even created, for his pleasure (Revelation 4:11).  He gave his life for me, the least I could do is attempt to return the favor.

"Greater love hath no man than this, that a man ay down his life for his friends."  John 15:13

I owe him my all.  It may not be much, but I owe him everything I've got.  Any gifts, any talents, any time I have has been given to me by Him and it is only reasonable for me to offer that back to Him.  I owe it to Him.

"He hath shewed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the Lord require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy and to walk humbly with thy God?"  Micah 6:8 

God doesn't owe me anything.  I owe Him everything.

One purpose

"Thou are worthy, O Lord, to receive glory and honour and power: for thou hast created all things, and for thy pleasure they are and were created."  Revelation 4:11

"For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure."  - Philippians 2:13

"Then Peter and the other apostles answered and said, We ought to obey God rather than men."  Acts 5:29

The entire reason I was created was to bring Him pleasure.  To please Him.  The top priority is not to make money, not to do good, it's not even to be happy.  The top priority is to please Him.

It has to remain my top priority.  Every year, every month, every week, every day, every hour, every moment, I need to be focused on doing what He wants me to do.  I need to be focused on doing what He created me to do.  I need to focus on pleasing Him and Him alone.

I struggle with that.  Not that I don't strive to please Him, because I do.  I pray every day to see the opportunities He brings me to please Him.  But I struggle with keeping the focus on pleasing Him first and foremost.

I am a people-pleaser.  I enjoy making people happy.  (honestly, who doesn't?) But it's not right and its not a good thing when I aim to please people before I aim to please my Savior.

God has been teaching me that lately.  He's been making verses pop out at me, like the 3 verses above.  He's been showing me situations in my life recently when I made it a greater priority to please people before pleasing Him.

It's shameful to look back on my actions in the past few months and see myself doing that.  Shameful but needful.

For the past month or so, verses about "serving God rather than serving men" have been leaping off the page.  God is trying to drill into my think head and my stony heart that I need to not be so focused and consumed with what others think - the only thing that matters is what He thinks.

He knows how much I struggle with that.  I had some big decisions to make recently and I feel as though I asked anyone and everyone for their opinion.  I just wanted someone to tell me what to do.  I don't make decisions very well.  I flip-flop.  I can't commit.  I think "road A" is the right decision and an hour later, after rolling it around and around my mind, "road B" seems to be the clear choice.

Ugh.

I hate that about myself.  It drives me nuts.

But the first person I took it to was the Lord and I made the decision I felt He wanted me to make.  Even though I know some may disagree with it.  Even though some may think it was the easy choice (which by the way, it wasn't) or the safe choice, it's what I believe God wanted and I hope He is pleased.

What I want - doesn't matter.  What other people think is right for me - doesn't matter.  He created me.  He loves me.  He gave his life for me.  He has a plan and a will for my life and that is what I desire more than anything.  My greatest desire is to do what He created me to do.

"Thou are worthy, O Lord, to receive glory and honour and power: for thou hast created all things, and for thy pleasure they are and were created."  Revelation 4:11