Out of focus

 

Today is June 5th.  

The picture above is my photo of the day - a sign.

Last month, I started participating in the "Photo a day" challenge with some friends and so that's where this photo comes into play.  I didn't have to look too far for today's photo subject as this is my front yard.  The only sign I actually like in the yard is the little white one in the back with the Bible verse on it.

I edited this photo with Instagram and posted it.  This afternoon, I noticed a friend of mine happened to catch the play of focus I did with this photo.  It's subtle so I wasn't sure it'd be noticeable, but I blurred the picture except for the white sign with the verse on it.  

When I read her comment, the word "focus" just seemed to linger on my mind for the next few hours.  I came home tonight, glanced over at these signs and thought of that word, focus.  That's when it hit me - my life has been out of focus lately.

It's been over a month since my last post on here and even with that, it was only one post in the entire month!  I've been slacking and out of focus.  

I've also been struggling alot lately.  Just seem to be struggling with life.  Struggling with contentment.  Struggling with trying to make decisions.  Struggling with thoughts, fears, pride, insecurities and doubts.

Struggling. 

God reminded me tonight that those struggles I've been trying to handle on my own are caused by allowing myself to be and remain out of focus.  

"Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind."  Matthew 22:37

For the past month or so, I have not had my heart or soul focused on God and I surely know my mind has not been fixed on him.  This feels like a very pivotal time in my life, too, a time in which I need to be solely focused on Him.  

So that's my assignment from God this week.  To try everyday to remain focused on Him.  Let everything else in the world and in my life be blurred a bit, that's okay, He's controlling it all anyways.  He wants to be the only thing I focus on.  

"He hath shewed thee, O man, what is good: and what doth the Lord require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God?"  Micah 6:8

It's just you and me this week, God, You are my focus.

Lest I forget...

I'm not sure about you but I have a tendency to forget things sometimes.

I have forgotten some very important things recently.  But God spent the last few days reminding me.

It first happened when we were singing a song at church.  "Lead me to Calvary"  Sang it plenty of times in the past but it was one of those moments where the words seem as though they are speaking to you for the first time.

"Lest I forget Gethsemane, Lest I forget thine agony; Lest I forget Thy love for me, Lead me to Calvary."

It was as though God was tapping me on the shoulder, saying, "Hey Amy.  Pay attention.  Lest you forget."

That night, I couldn't shake it.  I had been struggling with discouragement and loneliness and was content wallowing in my self-pity.  

But God didn't want that.  He knew I needed to snap out of it.

I pushed the thought to the back of my mind and went about the rest of my night.  The next day, however, God tapped me on the shoulder with another reminder.  This reminder was that He has put people in my life that care about me and want to be a part of my life and want me to share it with them.  I have a tendency to not let people past a certain point but He reminded me that there are some I can let in.

Okay Lord, I'll start paying attention now.

Well, for good measure, He gave me another reminder Friday night.  

I stopped by my parents' house after Bible study and we were talking about some issues that have come up recently.  They tried talking to me about it about a week earlier but I wasn't ready.  I told them I hate making decisions and going through things by myself.  My parents reminded me that I'm not alone and that  I don't have to make decisions and go through life alone.  God tapped on my shoulder again.

"Amy, why are you so quick to forget these things?  Why do you allow yourself to be convinced that you have to do everything on your own?  Why do you convince yourself that asking for help will make you seem weak?"

"I don't know why I do those things, Lord."

"Well, lest you forget, I'm here.  I'm here to remind you of the family and friends I have given you.  Use them.  Don't shut them out.  Allow them to help you.  Draw support from Me and from them."

"Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God; I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness."  Isaiah 41:10

I forgot that when I think no one cares - God cares.

I forgot that He loves me, when I think I am unlovable.

I forgot that when I feel worthless, He sees me as worthy of His love, His time, His Son.

I forgot that when I feel all alone in this world, He's there.

I forgot that when I feel deserted, He promised to never leave me.

I forgot that He gave me this life and that He wants me to live it abundantly.

I forgot the price that He paid so that I might live.

Lest I forget again, Lord, lead me to Calvary, where I will be reminded of the price You paid for me and the love that You have for me.

Promises

We had an amazing little spring shower last night.  I luckily had a fantastic, front row seat to the show in the sky.  Amazing clouds, a little thunder rumble and ofcourse, as always, a rainbow.

As I thought about that bright and beautiful rainbow I saw last night, it reminded me of promises.

We all make promises.  

Some are big promises, like the vows we make to our spouses on our wedding day.  Some are small promises like a returning a phone call.  

But we all have broken a promise or two.  I know I have.  But when I look at that rainbow, it reminds me that out of all the promises that God has given us (the Bible's full of 'em), God never, ever breaks His promise.

In a world of unknowns and instability, I'm thankful that I can count on God and His promises.

Just God

There are times in our lives when we have nothing to trust in, nothing to depend upon except for God and God only.

As humans, we tend to naturally be uncomfortable when we reach these times in our lives. Times when we are not in control. Times when we are at a loss of words. Times when we are mentally, physically, emotionally and sometimes spiritually exhausted and weak.

I personally have not been to that extreme (thankfully) but I have some dear friends who have been there on multiple occasions. This weekend was one of them.

I know I have mentioned Charlie before but just to bring you up to speed, he just turned 3 a month ago and less than 2 weeks ago he went through his 4th major heart surgery. As you can imagine, a 3 year old boy who has gone through 4 major heart surgeries in his life, there have been plenty of opportunities and moments that God has worked and moved in his life. I have been fortunate enough to witness some of these miracles God has done through Charlie and through his parents.

Friday night Charlie had a rough night. I was just getting ready to go to bed when I got a text from his mom. I'll spare all the details but if you'd like more information on Charlie and follow his progress, please feel free to visit his Caring Bridge website : http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/charliesmith

His blood pressure had dropped along with some other issues and his doctors couldn't figure out why. It had already been a rough day and his mother just wanted to see her boy get some rest and some relief from his constant pain. It was late at night but we can't always control when prayer is needed. So as soon as I got her text, I forwarded it - along with an apology for the late hour. But many people texted back and within 10 minutes, I knew there was a group lifting up Charlie before God's Throne of Grace.

A few minutes later, Charlie's aunt called me to give me an update and few more details. I wish I could have found good, comforting words to give to her but all I could think to do was pray.

So that's what I did.

I thought of that night as I read though the story of Gideon. In Judges 7, God is preparing Gideon and his army for a battle. I noticed verse 2, "And the Lord said unto Gideon, The people that are with thee are too many for me to give the Midianites into their hands, lest Israel vaunt themselves against me saying, Mine own hand hath saved me."

That statement led to Gideon's army being reduced down from 32,000 to just 10,000. But verse 4, God tells Gideon it's still too much. "And the Lord said unto Gideon, The people are yet too many; bring them down unto the water, and I will try them for thee there: and it shall be that of whom I say unto thee, the same shall go with thee; and of whomsoever I say unto thee, This shall not go with thee, the same shall not go."

Guess how many ended up going with Gideon to fight in the battle.

300.

From 32,000 to 300.

Wow.

I know the old saying goes 'there is safety in numbers' but the Bible says "safety is of the Lord."

God didn't want Israel to take credit for what He was going to do. I think He still does that. He will strip us of everything sometimes and leave us with Him as our only option. He likes it that way and honestly, that's the way it should be. It isn't always easy and it isn't always comfortable to be there but....but there is a reason He does that. He puts us in those predicaments and situations where we have nothing and no one but Him and it is at those moments where He can get the greatest glory.

I have seen God do amazing, unthinkable things for Charlie and through Charlie. The moments that stick out the most for me are those very moments when the only option, the only comfort, the only focus is prayer to Him.

Another nugget I got from this little example of Gideon was from verse 4 where God said He will try them by the water. Before Charlie was born God had already been preparing his parents to be the kind of people, the kind of believers, the kind of Christians, the kind of parents that Charlie would need. God knew that and that
is why He gave Charlie the parents and family that He did. They have definitely been tried in ways that many Christians will never even imagine being challenged and through it all, they have grown closer together, drawn closer to God and continually have given Him the glory - through the good and the bad.

If you think of it, please pray for Charlie and visit his site. He is such a little champ and he is one of God's special little workers. If you pray for him, I can guarantee you that you will witness a miracle of God.

It's not always easy to be in the type of situations like Gideon and these 300 men were in, going up against the Midiantites and their vast army and it's not easy for Charlie and his parents being in their situation, trying to handle each challenge as it arises and the constant worry of the unknown but what a comfort it is to know that God is there. God was there with Gideon and they won the battle because of God. God is there in that hospital room with Charlie right now, feeling the pain Charlie feels, comforting Charlie's family as they stay by his side, trusting that Charlie will win his battle, too because of God.

"Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed: for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee: yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness." Isaiah 41:10

Day 31 - Open thy mouth

"Open thy mouth, judge righteously, and plead the cause of the poor and needy." Proverb 31:9

Proverbs 31 is famously known as the "virtuous woman proverb" but a different verse/thought struck me today while reading the chapter.

Verse 9 stuck out to me today, in particular, the phrase 'open thy mouth'.

I need to open my mouth for Him more. It's one thing to sit behind the keyboard and update good Facebook statuses or tweets but when given the opportunity, face to face, to open my mouth and witness to someone or share with them what God has been doing in my life, I often remain silent.

I need to open my mouth and share the gospel. I need to open my mouth and share the great thins He has done for me. I need to open my mouth and give Him the praises He is due.

Open thy mouth.

Day 30

"Every word of God is pure; he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him." Proverb 30:5

Yesterday we talked about how every idle word we speak, we will have to give an account of, so today, verse 5 jumped out as me as soon as I read it.

I've had this thought rolling around my mind for the past day or so. Ever since I read Proverbs 28:26 "He that trusteth in his own heart is a fool: but whoso walketh wisely, he shall be delivered."

I've been thinking of that verse, how I can't even trust myself, I can't trust my own heart because it's deceitful but then I read verse 5 today and am so thankful that I can trust God and His Word! There are many unreliable things in life but God, He is reliable.

You can't put a price on that!

Day 29 - Say what?

"Seest thou a man that is hasty in his words? there is more hope of a fool than of him." Proverb 29:20

Today's reminder from Proverbs is to watch what we say.

"A fool uttereth all his mind: but a wise man keepeth it in till afterwards." Proverb 29:11

"But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment. For by thy words thou shalt be justified and by thy words thou shalt be condemned."
Matthew 12: 36-37

I heard once that the average person says around 7,000 words per day. That's a lot of words. According to Matthew 12, we will be accountable to God for each and every one.

Wow. That's sobering.