Struggles

What a week.

It started out just like any other week and had the same potential as others to be great but this week decided to veer off the road where everything is bumpy and there are blocks and pitfalls all over.

I struggled this week. In fact, if I were to be completely honest, I've been struggling for a couple of weeks now. My struggle has been mostly contained within myself (that was at least the case until Wednesday afternoon but I may get to that later). This struggle has been an internal struggle between striving to do the things I know I ought to do and almost more importantly, NOT doing things I know I ought not to do.

I have been allowing myself to listen to more music that I know I ought not to be listening to and I have been neglecting things that I know I ought to be doing more of such as reading my Bible and working on my Bible study topics. I have been feeding my physical man more than my spiritual man and that has thrown me off balance.

When I did read my Bible this week, I happened to come across Galations 5 which describes the fruits of the flesh (physical man) and the fruits of the spirit. Ooohhhh. I believe I found myself fitting more into the fruits of the flesh category more than the spirit the past few weeks, which is not a good thing. I've had hatred, wrath, strife and envyings just to name a few. In no way am I proud to have to admit this but it's true and then I continued to read onto the fruits of the spirit: love, joy, peace, gentleness, meekness and the big daddy of them all that I was lacking this week (drum roll, please..........) temperance.

Pretty hard to consider yourself temperant when are so mad you want to punch a hole in the wall.

I thought I blew it. I was not being a good example at all and was greatly discouraged.

But just like the hymnist wrote, "Just when I need Him, Jesus is near, Just when I falter, Just when I fear; Ready to help me, ready to cheer, Just when I need Him most." God was right there with me, just when I needed Him.

I sought comfort and direction from His word and just as always, He came through. He gave me a verse for this week - this week filled of stress and frustration, disappointment and discouragement, God gave me Joshua 1:9 "Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee withsoever thou goest."

He is with me, wherever I go and He is there, just when I need Him most.